As humans, we are programmed to position ourselves according to the constants around us: people, structures and boundaries. When those constants shift, it can be unsettling for adults and children.
Sometimes we find ourselves in unprecedented situations, and we each have our own approach to managing things. If you feel confused and without direction because of a turbulent situation, please know that that is okay.
We’ll look today at why that is, to help us understand ourselves a little more and why these simple mindfulness activities can help us navigate it.
There may be many reasons for feeling stressed in life, but during turbulent times in society, it is often due to not feeling safe.
Something in our environment is alerting our survival instinct. This makes our brains produce stress hormones, which get us ready to fight the threat, run from it, or freeze until it’s gone away.
The threat might be to our physical or even social survival – and the two are linked. Things can feel even scarier when we also feel isolated from our social group, which keeps us protected from that threat.
Human beings are social by nature. We live and work in communities, we connect through love and empathy and we protect each other. There’s truth to the saying“there’s safety in numbers”.
But it’s not just about safety. We also define ourselves by comparing ourselves to others and working out what we are not.
Research has found that we identify deeply with our role in society and the ‘pack’ to which we belong. This holds deep ties with our sense of safety, contentment and self-esteem. If the boundaries by which we define and position ourselves have shifted or continue to shift, we will feel unsafe, threatened and therefore stressed.
If we then apply this to children, the constants to whom they look for security are the adults in their life. If the adults are behaving differently, the children will feel a shift and feel unsafe and stressed too. If they don’t have their friends alongside them for social positioning, this too can lead to them feeling confused and uncertain.
Here are some key ways we can help:
Children may often lack the language to express what they are feeling, or even to recognize it themselves. Therefore, we must offer ways to help them make sense of the world around them, to help them feel safe and to help express their concerns.
Communication provides the necessary social interaction and models for them on how to handle the new situation. It firms up their boundaries, and provides a safe space where they feel listened to and acknowledged and this, in turn, helps diffuse their stress.
The activity below is a lovely way to invite children to express any worry they might be feeling, mindfully and with support – and give them something to do with their feelings. It also has the benefit of helping them breathe fully and slowly, which will calm down their nervous system.
By helping children focus on breathing, we can teach them that even if things feel wobbly around them, their breath is always there. The act of focusing on the breath also helps settle the fight or flight branch of their nervous system into a calmer, more balanced state.
These two activities can be lovely daily practices to try and provide some safety and structure to your child or students’ mental health right now. They are also enjoyable activities to try for yourself – you may like to increase the in and out count of the breath a little bit for an adult breath.
In a previous blog, we shared somestrange English phrases that might have left you with some questions. The English language is full of peculiar phrases that can even confuse fluent speakers. In today's post, we'll take a look at a few more such phrases to help you expand your repertoire.
English is the second most widely spoken language – it is estimated that nearly two billion people worldwide can speak English at a useful level. That means they can hold a conversation with other English-speaking people.
A report by the attests the importance of the English language to the world, and says thatsecond-language English speakers far outnumber fluent English speakers. It also recognizes how being able to speak English can give individuals a competitive edge over others. If you're asking the question, "Why should I learn English?", read on to find out more...
What is it about music that helps boost your English skills, confidence and pronunciation? A song can provide an emotional connection between the music and the listener, providing learners with new ways to express their feelings. Music and rhythm have also been shown to benefit memorization, which is a key component of learning.
Here are some of our favorite lyrics to some of our favorite songs:
The Beatles are the best band to help you learn English. There are many Beatles songs with catchy melodies and simple lyrics, but Blackbird captures the Fab Four at their most poetic:
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
This song is a great way to help learn the days of the week (that may be obvious). Love is also a very popular English word, so this one is for all the romantics out there.
Always take a big bite
It’s such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
Another one for the lovers, Ed’s heartfelt lyrics are huge in the mainstream pop charts. Here, he tells the sweet story of long-time love in this ballad and he’s becoming one of the world’s most sought-after songwriters.
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
This classic from Morrissey and co was voted runner-up in VH1’s Top Lyrics poll, for the lyrics: So you go and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home and you cry and you want to die’ but it’s the opening lines of the song that are the most intriguing. Firstly, they’re adapted from George Eliot’s novel Middlemarch and include some rather clever double meanings – namely ‘son’ (sun) and ‘heir’ (air).
I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
This was Neil Young’s only number-one hit single from 1972’s Harvest album. He uses simple lyrics and melodies to tell his story of searching for true love.
I’ve been in my mind
It’s such a fine line
That keeps me searchin’ for a heart of gold
And I’m gettin’ old
U2 is the second-best band to help you learn English and frontman Bono is the second-best male artist to help you learn (edged out by Justin Timberlake). The chorus was inspired by a moment during a performance in New York City, when Bono saw the audience lit up and shouted, “Oh, you look so beautiful tonight!”
And I miss you when you’re not around
I’m getting ready to leave the ground
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights
These lyrics are a good use of repetition and rhyme, which is excellent for helping memorization. Most people consider this a love song, but that’s a common mistake. In 1983, Sting was interviewed for New Musical Express and explained: “I think it’s a nasty little song, really rather evil. It’s about jealousy and surveillance and ownership.”
Every move you make and every vow you break
Every smile you fake, every claim you stake, I’ll be watching you
Every move you make, every step you take, I’ll be watching you
Dylan’s whimsical, poetic lyrics might be difficult for an English language learner to interpret, but that doesn’t mean they’re not a pleasure to listen and sing along to.
Hey! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me
I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to
Hey! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me
In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you
This song takes you through the daily goings-on in a typical household in the 80s. This song has been around for a while now but is a story that most people can still connect with. This is an excellent song for understanding the concept of nostalgia!
I remember way back then when
everything was true and when
we would have such a very good time
such a fine time
Sadly, Otis Redding lost his life in a plane crash shortly after this song was recorded, and it was released after his death. His lyrics are quite reflective, provoking both contentment and sadness. You can really imagine yourself sitting on the dock with his simple yet descriptive words.
Sittin’ in the morning sun
I’ll be sittin’ when the evening comes
Watching the ships roll in
Then I watch them roll away again
No list of standout turns of phrase would be complete without Leonard Cohen, a man whose songwriting process is so painstaking he’ll often spend years on the same song. When quizzed on his process, Cohen once said it often took so long because, “After a while, if you stick with the song long enough it will yield.” It’s interesting to note then that, even for a master of the English language, the words don’t always come easily. Everybody Knows remains a firm favorite among fans, with the majority of lines starting with the words ‘Everybody knows…’ It’s a lengthy song, but for the sheer beauty of its words and phrasing, the opening lines are a highlight:
Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows that the good guys lost
