9 English conversation mistakes to avoid

Mohamed Shaik
Two young women on a sofa talking to eachother

As humans, we learn and grow through our interactions with other people. Often these encounters are centered around great conversations – rich, meaningful exchanges among a small group of people where each person actively listens and shares. Great discussions are invaluable – they enrich our understanding of people and the world around us. Socially, being someone who can engage effortlessly with others allows us to create deep friendships and gain incredible personal growth and satisfaction. In our careers, we are more effective when we work well with others – the ability to collaborate and solve problems together makes us more effective professionals and makes our businesses more successful.

Common English conversation mistakes

But what if you must hold a conversation in English and it is not your native language? One of the many obstacles to learning something new, like English conversation, is that it can be difficult, time-consuming and even a little scary! That’s why we put together a list of nine English conversation mistakes to avoid that apply whether you are speaking with one or several people at once. Keep these tips in mind to help you improve your interactions with people all over the world…

1) Faking interest in the person

One of the things that separates a conversation from a 'transaction' (such as ordering something in a restaurant) is the genuine mutual interest of each person in the other. If one isn’t interested in knowing more about the other person, neither will engage meaningfully, and the interaction will become transactional or just 'small talk'. Most people are fascinating – take the time to learn what you can about them.

2) Discussing negative and sensitive topics

People are more engaged and willing to share when they are relaxed and happy. Especially when you don’t know someone well, it is always better to focus on the positives – avoid both sharing your biggest troubles and bringing up topics that could be negative from a cultural, religious, political, or even personal perspective. There is always something positive to share!

3) Trying to 'win' an argument

Particularly when speaking with someone you don’t know well and/or someone from another country or background, it is precarious for a conversation (especially one where you are practicing your English conversation skills) to evolve into a debate or argument. It is likely that for any two people, there will be many points of disagreement, and if such differences emerge, it’s better to attempt to understand the other person’s point of view rather than to 'win' an argument. It is perfectly acceptable to agree to disagree about specific issues and move on.

4) Disrespecting others beliefs

If you want a great conversation, others must feel you aren’t judgmental. When someone feels their ideas and beliefs are questioned or belittled, any meaningful exchange will often shut down. Instead, try listening for understanding, and you may learn something!

5) 'Hogging' the stage

It is said that great actors make their fellow performers look great. It is the essence of teamwork, and the same principle applies to great conversationalists. Ask questions that allow others to be positive, confident, and maybe even a little boastful, but certainly remember to do it in a genuine way. The positive energy will be contagious!

6) Fearing learning something unknown

There are over seven billion people worldwide, and none are exactly like you! The greatest learning experiences are often from interactions with those who are very different from ourselves. Embrace and celebrate those differences. Allow others to share their unique perspective and journey, always keeping in mind we all share so much in common. We all want to be happy, love others, and have meaning in our lives.

7) Trying to be someone you are not

There’s only one person you can be, so don’t try to be someone else or something you are not. A great conversation is based on authenticity; most people can easily sense when another is not truthful or authentic. While keeping in mind all of the other rules, it’s both acceptable and expected for you to share your own journey!

8) Monopolizing the conversation

We’ve all been in those conversations where the other person dominates by talking incessantly. At some point, we shut down, just waiting for it to end. Active listening and learning ceases. Engagement requires participation from both parties – don’t hold back from sharing, but at the same time, don’t be that person who dominates and effectively shuts down that engagement.

9) Focusing on superficial topics

What separates a great conversation from 'small talk' is the meaningful nature of the dialog. Talking about the weather doesn’t elicit much other than maybe politeness. A great conversationalist elicits meaningful thoughts from others, and those come from purposeful questions. People love to think; asking them something that requires thoughtfulness deepens the conversation's value and strengthens the relationship between the parties.

More blogs from ɫèAV

  • A girl sat at a laptop with headphones on in a library

    5 myths about online language learning

    By Steffanie Zazulak
    Reading time: 3 minutes

    Technology has radically changed the way people are able to access information and learn. As a result, there are a great number of tools to facilitate online language learning – an area that’s been the subject of many myths. Here we highlight (and debunk) some of the bigger ones…

    Myth #1: You will learn more quickly

    Although online learning tools are designed to provide ways to teach and support the learner, they won’t provide you with a shortcut to proficiency or bypass any of the key stages of learning.Although you may well be absorbing lots of vocabulary and grammar rules while studying in isolation, this isn’t a replacement for an environment in which you can immerse yourself in the language with English speakers. Such settings help you improve your speaking and listening skills and increase precision, because the key is to find opportunities to practise both – widening your use of the language rather than simply building up your knowledge of it.

    Myth #2: It replaces learning in the classroom

    With big data and AI increasingly providing a more accurate idea of their level, as well as a quantifiable idea of how much they need to learn to advance to the next level of proficiency, classroom learning is vital for supplementing classroom learning. And with the Global Scale of English providing an accurate measurement of progress, students can personalise their learning and decide how they’re going to divide their time between classroom learning and private study.

    Myth #3: It can’t be incorporated into classroom learning

    There are a huge number of ways that students and teachers can use the Internet in the classroom. Meanwhile, ɫèAV’s online courses and apps have a positive, measurable impact on your learning outcomes.

    Myth #4:You can't learn in the workplace

    Online language learning is ideally suited to the workplace and we must create the need to use the language and opportunities to practise it. A job offers one of the most effective learning environments: where communication is key and you’re frequently exposed to specialized vocabulary. Online language learning tools can flexibly support your busy schedule.

    Myth #5: Online language learning is impersonal and isolating

    A common misconception is that online language learning is a solitary journey, lacking the personal connection and support found in traditional classrooms. In reality, today’s digital platforms are designed to foster community and real interaction. With features like live virtual classrooms, discussion forums and instant feedback, learners can connect with peers and educators around the world, building skills together.

  • Two teenagers sat at a desk in a classroom working together in front of a laptop

    My lifelong learning journey: Why learning English never stops

    By Zarela Cruz
    Reading time: 4 minutes

    My journey with English began in the unlikeliest of places: a mining camp in southern Peru. As a child, I was fascinated by American culture – the movies, the music, the seemingly limitless world that English opened up. For me, the language was a gateway leading to a deeper understanding and feeling of belonging, making me part of their culture.

  • A classroom scene with a teacher and diverse students engaged in learning, using laptops on desks, in a brightly lit room.

    Is game-based learning technology a waste of time?

    By
    Reading time: 4 minutes

    We feel that game-based learning (GBL) is a waste of time… if not properly understood. Even then, one could argue that "wasting time" is a vital part of learning and perhaps we need to stop insisting that every second counts.

    Game-based learning vs. Gamification: Understanding the difference

    Let’s begin by first addressing the term "game-based learning" and how it compares to its doppelgänger, gamification. Gamification is the application of game mechanics and dynamics to non-game contexts to solve problems, engage users and promote desired behaviours. For example, rewarding acheivements with points, awards or badges for achievement, levelling up, using avatars, quests and collaboration are all gamification features, which elevate games above the mundane activities of normal life.

    The principles of gamification have been applied to the retail and services sectors for years: think of airlines' frequent flyers programs, pubs and bars running "happy hours" promotions, WeightWatchers' points-counting, Foursquare's badges for visiting new places. There are hundreds of examples of where game dynamics have been introduced into non-game contexts to influence behaviour and bring about a desired result.

    Game-based learning in action: More than just play

    Gamification does not refer to the straightforward use of games (whether digital or otherwise) as part of a teaching or learning interaction. A teacher using the board game Monopoly in the classroom to demonstrate the idea of rent is not gamifying the learning environment; they are involving learners in game-based learning. GBL refers to the use of games as tools: as devices for opening discussion, presenting concepts or promoting learner engagement within clearly defined learning objectives, in other words, learning through playing games. Gamification is the appropriation of those principles, mechanics and dynamics that make games work in order to promote engagement or engender a desired outcome.

    Teachers have long introduced games into the learning environment – such as Kim’s Game, Pelmanism and Guess Who? – and the uptake of GBL with digital games is particularly well demonstrated by the work being done by the Institute of Play, and the growing popularity of the likes of Minecraft and SimCity in schools. In terms of our immediate ELT context, pretty much any video game can be repurposed for language learning, in the same way a text, song or website can be. Take, for example, the indie game . Although there is no actual spoken language in the game, the platform puzzle format lends itself perfectly to practising language around predictions or conditionals ("If I pull that lever, the door will open"), recounting events ("I was chased by a giant spider!"), strategising and so on. In this post, we will be referring to existing digital games that have been appropriated into a learning context, as opposed to games that have been designed with a specific educational use in mind.

    Sharma and Barrett’s definition of blended learning provides a useful context for approaching the use of digital games in such modalities, notably the combination of “a face-to-face classroom component with an appropriate use of technology”. We’re making no assumptions about whether the games are being accessed in the classroom, on mobile or online at home. The blend isn’t defined by where a learner is, but by how their use of technology supports and enhances their contact with the teacher.

    The notion of appropriateness in Sharma and Barrett’s definition is critical as, in the case of a GBL project, it assumes a teacher has a familiarity with both the tech and content accessibility of a selected game. Acquiring that level of familiarity with a game requires a certain amount of time engaging with it to determine its fit for the needs of the learners, an activity which might easily be considered off task when compared to the other demands being made on an educator’s schedule.

    How GBL fuels engagement and deeper learning

    The benefits of GBL with digital games are potentially quite profound, however. First, studies indicate that playing video games in general can stimulate the generation of neurons and enhance connectivity between the regions of the brain responsible for memory formation, spatial orientation and strategic thinking. The right pairing of game and learning objectives could be argued to promote situated cognition, a theory that knowledge is constructed through – and inseparable from – social interactions and the context in which they take place. A learner immersed in SimCity stands a much greater chance of understanding the principles of taxation and the provision of public services through playing the role of a mayor, for example, than a learner being walked through the annual budget. As Lim et al. state: “games are effective because learning takes place within a meaningful context where what must be learned is directly related to the environment in which learning and demonstration take place”.

    Early-stage research on mirror neurons is adding a new aspect to the discussion around the immediacy of playing games. In short, mirror neurons suggest that when we observe someone performing an action, there is a brief moment in which our brain cells fire as if we are carrying out that action ourselves. The boundary between observer (player) and observed (in-game character) becomes blurred for a split second. A lot can happen in that split second.

    In addition to the benefits of an immersive, neuron-stroking experience, games demonstrably promote learner engagement by introducing the F-bomb into the mix (fun). They also have the capacity to provide an unrivalled social experience, as in the case of MMORPGs (massively multiplayer online role-playing games). As an example, consider how a leading MMORPG game, World of Warcraft, is applied in learning environments.

    Addressing concerns and embracing change

    However, there are often deep-seated cultural aversions to the use of games in an educational context that GBL initiatives are required to overcome. Critics have said that digital games are anti-social, that they rot your attention span, that they are not legitimate, validated learning resources. Although there is not yet a body of research that can empirically confirm or debunk the effectiveness of games used for learning, surely watching a learner plan, execute and evaluate a project in Minecraft with classmates suggests that those objections are based on dated assumptions. The language learning space in particular is still very much attached to a coursebook paradigm that is predicated on levels and a clearly defined syllabus. Perhaps GBL is too much at odds with an established business model that is the bedrock of too many large education organisations.

    So is GBL a waste of time? We’d argue that it is when its potential is not properly recognised and it is treated as light relief. Games are dynamic, engaging resources capable of delivering experiences and drawing connections that can really ignite a student’s learning experience. Furthermore, they bring a playful and unpredictable aspect to the learning process.