9 English conversation mistakes to avoid

Mohamed Shaik
Two young women on a sofa talking to eachother

As humans, we learn and grow through our interactions with other people. Often these encounters are centered around great conversations ¨C rich, meaningful exchanges among a small group of people where each person actively listens and shares. Great discussions are invaluable ¨C they enrich our understanding of people and the world around us. Socially, being someone who can engage effortlessly with others allows us to create deep friendships and gain incredible personal growth and satisfaction. In our careers, we are more effective when we work well with others ¨C the ability to collaborate and solve problems together makes us more effective professionals and makes our businesses more successful.

Common English conversation mistakes

But what if you must hold a conversation in English and it is not your native language? One of the many obstacles to learning something new, like English conversation, is that it can be difficult, time-consuming and even a little scary! That¡¯s why we put together a list of nine English conversation mistakes to avoid that apply whether you are speaking with one or several people at once. Keep these tips in mind to help you improve your interactions with people all over the world¡­

1) Faking interest in the person

One of the things that separates a conversation from a 'transaction' (such as ordering something in a restaurant) is the genuine mutual interest of each person in the other. If one isn¡¯t interested in knowing more about the other person, neither will engage meaningfully, and the interaction will become transactional or just 'small talk'. Most people are fascinating ¨C take the time to learn what you can about them.

2) Discussing negative and sensitive topics

People are more engaged and willing to share when they are relaxed and happy. Especially when you don¡¯t know someone well, it is always better to focus on the positives ¨C avoid both sharing your biggest troubles and bringing up topics that could be negative from a cultural, religious, political, or even personal perspective. There is always something positive to share!

3) Trying to 'win' an argument

Particularly when speaking with someone you don¡¯t know well and/or someone from another country or background, it is precarious for a conversation (especially one where you are practicing your English conversation skills) to evolve into a debate or argument. It is likely that for any two people, there will be many points of disagreement, and if such differences emerge, it¡¯s better to attempt to understand the other person¡¯s point of view rather than to 'win' an argument. It is perfectly acceptable to agree to disagree about specific issues and move on.

4) Disrespecting others beliefs

If you want a great conversation, others must feel you aren¡¯t judgmental. When someone feels their ideas and beliefs are questioned or belittled, any meaningful exchange will often shut down. Instead, try listening for understanding, and you may learn something!

5) 'Hogging' the stage

It is said that great actors make their fellow performers look great. It is the essence of teamwork, and the same principle applies to great conversationalists. Ask questions that allow others to be positive, confident, and maybe even a little boastful, but certainly remember to do it in a genuine way. The positive energy will be contagious!

6) Fearing learning something unknown

There are over seven billion people worldwide, and none are exactly like you! The greatest learning experiences are often from interactions with those who are very different from ourselves. Embrace and celebrate those differences. Allow others to share their unique perspective and journey, always keeping in mind we all share so much in common. We all want to be happy, love others, and have meaning in our lives.

7) Trying to be someone you are not

There¡¯s only one person you can be, so don¡¯t try to be someone else or something you are not. A great conversation is based on authenticity; most people can easily sense when another is not truthful or authentic. While keeping in mind all of the other rules, it¡¯s both acceptable and expected for you to share your own journey!

8) Monopolizing the conversation

We¡¯ve all been in those conversations where the other person dominates by talking incessantly. At some point, we shut down, just waiting for it to end. Active listening and learning ceases. Engagement requires participation from both parties ¨C don¡¯t hold back from sharing, but at the same time, don¡¯t be that person who dominates and effectively shuts down that engagement.

9) Focusing on superficial topics

What separates a great conversation from 'small talk' is the meaningful nature of the dialog. Talking about the weather doesn¡¯t elicit much other than maybe politeness. A great conversationalist elicits meaningful thoughts from others, and those come from purposeful questions. People love to think; asking them something that requires thoughtfulness deepens the conversation's value and strengthens the relationship between the parties.

Discover more English tips in our other blog posts

More blogs from ɫèAV

  • Students sat at desks in a classroom working

    Learning from mistakes: Using exam errors to perfect your English

    By

    Taking English exams can be intimidating and challenging. Everyone has their own set of strengths and weaknesses, and it's common to make the same kinds of mistakes in an exam.

    It¡¯s possible to make use of this though, and improve your English from the mistakes you make. Today in our language learning blog, we discuss how we can use exam errors to perfect and improve your English.

    1. Find a pattern

    Firstly, you want to establish what your weak and strong points are. Write these down somewhere each time and build up a record. It's essential to take note of the mistakes you make and try to see if there's a pattern.
    Perhaps mistakes happen on:

    • A specific type or style of question
    • Questions relating to the same topic area
    • A particular way the exam is delivered (like spoken or written)

    These are only a few examples, but recognizing patterns or similarities can help you focus on areas that need improvement or extra attention.

    2. Rationalize and understand your mistakes

    Making mistakes in an exam can really impact a person's confidence, but if you can, look back and rationalize why that mistake was made. It can help your confidence in the future. Sometimes mistakes are made just because of a misinterpretation, perhaps a question wasn¡¯t read correctly, and you realize you knew the answer after all.

    Remember, the situation of being in an exam can be stressful and you may not think or respond in the way you normally would outside of the exam room, so don't be too hard on yourself.
    Mistakes happen in the real world every day, and being able to look back at them and examine them critically is a valuable skill.

    3. Compare and team up with peers

    As we¡¯ve already mentioned, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. It can be a great idea to compare your mistakes with others; they may be making the same ones.

    You can team up and try to tackle them together, or you may know someone whose strength is in your weak areas (and vice versa). It's helpful to team up and help each other. They might have some handy tips and techniques for you to try.

    4. Experiment with study techniques

    It's good to switch up techniques at times and your errors might be giving you some guidance on doing so. If you tend to make errors with your spoken English, consider study techniques that work on that ¨C like using recall or incorporating music to strengthen your speech.

    Perhaps memory is an issue, so using tools like flashcards can help you. Some techniques focus on and help improve some areas more than others, so there isn¡¯t one solution for all. Make sure to experiment and see what works for you.

    5. Repetition

    Perhaps an obvious one, but just repeating and practicing the questions/tasks you¡¯ve gotten wrong in the exam is a good approach. By doing it over and over again, with some persistence, it ends up being retained in your long-term memory.

    You may want to study variations of the questions you struggle with, as exams tend to alter their questions and you don¡¯t want to be thrown off in an exam if they reword/change the question slightly.

    The next time you review your exam results, remember these steps, look for patterns, examine your thought process and don¡¯t be afraid to ask others for help. With enough practice, those errors should be things of the past.

  • Three young people sat outside eating pizza and smiling

    English food names explained: A culinary journey through language

    By

    Food is not just a means of nutrition; it can be a vibrant part of a culture's identity. English cuisine, influenced by its history, boasts a range of interesting and sometimes puzzling food names (some even puzzling fluent English speakers).?Let's explore the stories behind some of the most well-known English food names.

    ?

  • A woman and a man talking together

    4 ways to improve your students' intelligibility

    By

    Intelligibility is the art of being understood by others. Many students think they need to speak a language flawlessly and with a native-like accent to make themselves clear, but this is not quite true.

    While there is a correlation between proficiency and intelligibility, even students of lower general proficiency are capable of expressing what they mean, in a way that the listener understands, if they are using good intelligibility practices.

    Being understandable in a second language is often extremely important in work environments, especially as the world becomes more connected and job markets more competitive.?

    Intelligibility is a vital aspect of communication but it is not exactly a skill in itself. Instead, it is a combination of fluency, pronunciation, and managing your speed of speech. To reflect how important this is for language learners when studying, traveling or at work, we use an Intelligibility Index as part of our Versant English Test scoring.

    This index is based on factors affecting how understandable speech is to fluent English speakers. These include things like speed, clarity, pronunciation and fluency. Ranging from 1 (low) to 5 (high), the Intelligibility Index shows how intelligible someone¡¯s speech in English is likely to be in a real-world situation.

    Let¡¯s go into some activities and exercises you can try in class to help your students improve their intelligibility with their English and speaking skills.