9 English conversation mistakes to avoid

Mohamed Shaik
Two young women on a sofa talking to eachother

As humans, we learn and grow through our interactions with other people. Often these encounters are centered around great conversations – rich, meaningful exchanges among a small group of people where each person actively listens and shares. Great discussions are invaluable – they enrich our understanding of people and the world around us. Socially, being someone who can engage effortlessly with others allows us to create deep friendships and gain incredible personal growth and satisfaction. In our careers, we are more effective when we work well with others – the ability to collaborate and solve problems together makes us more effective professionals and makes our businesses more successful.

Common English conversation mistakes

But what if you must hold a conversation in English and it is not your native language? One of the many obstacles to learning something new, like English conversation, is that it can be difficult, time-consuming and even a little scary! That’s why we put together a list of nine English conversation mistakes to avoid that apply whether you are speaking with one or several people at once. Keep these tips in mind to help you improve your interactions with people all over the world…

1) Faking interest in the person

One of the things that separates a conversation from a 'transaction' (such as ordering something in a restaurant) is the genuine mutual interest of each person in the other. If one isn’t interested in knowing more about the other person, neither will engage meaningfully, and the interaction will become transactional or just 'small talk'. Most people are fascinating – take the time to learn what you can about them.

2) Discussing negative and sensitive topics

People are more engaged and willing to share when they are relaxed and happy. Especially when you don’t know someone well, it is always better to focus on the positives – avoid both sharing your biggest troubles and bringing up topics that could be negative from a cultural, religious, political, or even personal perspective. There is always something positive to share!

3) Trying to 'win' an argument

Particularly when speaking with someone you don’t know well and/or someone from another country or background, it is precarious for a conversation (especially one where you are practicing your English conversation skills) to evolve into a debate or argument. It is likely that for any two people, there will be many points of disagreement, and if such differences emerge, it’s better to attempt to understand the other person’s point of view rather than to 'win' an argument. It is perfectly acceptable to agree to disagree about specific issues and move on.

4) Disrespecting others beliefs

If you want a great conversation, others must feel you aren’t judgmental. When someone feels their ideas and beliefs are questioned or belittled, any meaningful exchange will often shut down. Instead, try listening for understanding, and you may learn something!

5) 'Hogging' the stage

It is said that great actors make their fellow performers look great. It is the essence of teamwork, and the same principle applies to great conversationalists. Ask questions that allow others to be positive, confident, and maybe even a little boastful, but certainly remember to do it in a genuine way. The positive energy will be contagious!

6) Fearing learning something unknown

There are over seven billion people worldwide, and none are exactly like you! The greatest learning experiences are often from interactions with those who are very different from ourselves. Embrace and celebrate those differences. Allow others to share their unique perspective and journey, always keeping in mind we all share so much in common. We all want to be happy, love others, and have meaning in our lives.

7) Trying to be someone you are not

There’s only one person you can be, so don’t try to be someone else or something you are not. A great conversation is based on authenticity; most people can easily sense when another is not truthful or authentic. While keeping in mind all of the other rules, it’s both acceptable and expected for you to share your own journey!

8) Monopolizing the conversation

We’ve all been in those conversations where the other person dominates by talking incessantly. At some point, we shut down, just waiting for it to end. Active listening and learning ceases. Engagement requires participation from both parties – don’t hold back from sharing, but at the same time, don’t be that person who dominates and effectively shuts down that engagement.

9) Focusing on superficial topics

What separates a great conversation from 'small talk' is the meaningful nature of the dialog. Talking about the weather doesn’t elicit much other than maybe politeness. A great conversationalist elicits meaningful thoughts from others, and those come from purposeful questions. People love to think; asking them something that requires thoughtfulness deepens the conversation's value and strengthens the relationship between the parties.

Discover more English tips in our other blog posts

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    5 STEAM myths debunked

    By Sarah Hillyard
    Reading time: 4 minutes

    STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Maths) sounds like an overwhelming combination of subjects to teach – and only suitable for expert educators. But the reality is doing STEAM is simpler than you think. Here are 5 common STEAM myths and the truth behind them. We also outline a number of simple activities you try with your students.

    1. STEAM requires a lot of time

    STEAM projects encourage curiosity, creativity and collaboration in the classroom – but they have a reputation for being preparation-heavy and for requiring a lot of teaching time and energy.

    But to get the full benefit of STEAM, there’s no need to plan out a full-blown project that lasts a whole month. In fact, you might integrate just one STEAM lesson into your syllabus. Or a lesson could contain a one-off 10-minute STEAM challenge.

    Here are some easy, low-preparation challenges your classes can take part in:

    10-minute STEAM challenges:

    • Winter unit: How tall can you build a snowman using paper cups?
    • Shapes theme: Using five toothpicks make a pentagon, two triangles, a letter of the alphabet.
    • Bug project: Can you create a symmetrical butterfly?

    2. You need fancy materials to do STEAM

    The biggest misconception is around technology. When you think of STEAM, you might imagine you need apps, computers, tablets and robots to teach it successfully. It’s true that you will certainly find STEAM challenges out there that involve extensive supply lists, expensive equipment, knowledge of programming and robotics.

    However, in reality, you probably have everything you need already. Technology doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated. It can refer to simple, non-electronic tools and machines, too. Think funnels, measuring cups and screwdrivers, for example. You can use low-cost regular classroom or household items and recyclable materials that learners' families can donate. Toilet paper rolls and cardboard boxes are very popular items in STEAM.

    Here is a low-tech activity you can try:

    Combine engineering, art and math using cardboard and a pair of scissors

    This challenge involves creating 3D self-portrait sculptures in the using only cardboard. First, teach about parts of the face by observing and analyzing some Cubist portraits (eg, explore Georges Braque and Pablo Picasso). Then have learners cut out cardboard shapes and make slits in them to attach together. They create their self-portrait sculptures by fitting the pieces together using the slits so that the final product will stand by itself. Display the self-portraits and talk about them.

    3. STEAM is targeted to older learners

    Young children are naturally curious about the world around them, and STEAM experiences begin very early in life. They explore with their senses and test their hypotheses about the world, just like scientists do. Much of their play is based on engineering skills, such as building houses with LEGO® bricks. They learn to manipulate tools while they develop their fine motor skills and their awareness of non-electronic technology. They use dramatic play and enjoy getting their hands full of paint while engaged in art. They learn about maths concepts very early on, such as size (big and small toys), quantities of things, and even babies start using the word “more” if they’re still hungry.

    Check out this simple STEAM experiment to learn about plants and their needs.

    How do plants eat and drink?

    Have students put water and food dye in a pot. Put a white flower in the water. Ask students to guess what will happen.

    After a few days, students should check their flowers and observe how it has changed color. They must then record their results. Extend the experiment by asking if they can make their flowers two colors.