9 English conversation mistakes to avoid

Mohamed Shaik
Two young women on a sofa talking to eachother

As humans, we learn and grow through our interactions with other people. Often these encounters are centered around great conversations ¨C rich, meaningful exchanges among a small group of people where each person actively listens and shares. Great discussions are invaluable ¨C they enrich our understanding of people and the world around us. Socially, being someone who can engage effortlessly with others allows us to create deep friendships and gain incredible personal growth and satisfaction. In our careers, we are more effective when we work well with others ¨C the ability to collaborate and solve problems together makes us more effective professionals and makes our businesses more successful.

Common English conversation mistakes

But what if you must hold a conversation in English and it is not your native language? One of the many obstacles to learning something new, like English conversation, is that it can be difficult, time-consuming and even a little scary! That¡¯s why we put together a list of nine English conversation mistakes to avoid that apply whether you are speaking with one or several people at once. Keep these tips in mind to help you improve your interactions with people all over the world¡­

1) Faking interest in the person

One of the things that separates a conversation from a 'transaction' (such as ordering something in a restaurant) is the genuine mutual interest of each person in the other. If one isn¡¯t interested in knowing more about the other person, neither will engage meaningfully, and the interaction will become transactional or just 'small talk'. Most people are fascinating ¨C take the time to learn what you can about them.

2) Discussing negative and sensitive topics

People are more engaged and willing to share when they are relaxed and happy. Especially when you don¡¯t know someone well, it is always better to focus on the positives ¨C avoid both sharing your biggest troubles and bringing up topics that could be negative from a cultural, religious, political, or even personal perspective. There is always something positive to share!

3) Trying to 'win' an argument

Particularly when speaking with someone you don¡¯t know well and/or someone from another country or background, it is precarious for a conversation (especially one where you are practicing your English conversation skills) to evolve into a debate or argument. It is likely that for any two people, there will be many points of disagreement, and if such differences emerge, it¡¯s better to attempt to understand the other person¡¯s point of view rather than to 'win' an argument. It is perfectly acceptable to agree to disagree about specific issues and move on.

4) Disrespecting others beliefs

If you want a great conversation, others must feel you aren¡¯t judgmental. When someone feels their ideas and beliefs are questioned or belittled, any meaningful exchange will often shut down. Instead, try listening for understanding, and you may learn something!

5) 'Hogging' the stage

It is said that great actors make their fellow performers look great. It is the essence of teamwork, and the same principle applies to great conversationalists. Ask questions that allow others to be positive, confident, and maybe even a little boastful, but certainly remember to do it in a genuine way. The positive energy will be contagious!

6) Fearing learning something unknown

There are over seven billion people worldwide, and none are exactly like you! The greatest learning experiences are often from interactions with those who are very different from ourselves. Embrace and celebrate those differences. Allow others to share their unique perspective and journey, always keeping in mind we all share so much in common. We all want to be happy, love others, and have meaning in our lives.

7) Trying to be someone you are not

There¡¯s only one person you can be, so don¡¯t try to be someone else or something you are not. A great conversation is based on authenticity; most people can easily sense when another is not truthful or authentic. While keeping in mind all of the other rules, it¡¯s both acceptable and expected for you to share your own journey!

8) Monopolizing the conversation

We¡¯ve all been in those conversations where the other person dominates by talking incessantly. At some point, we shut down, just waiting for it to end. Active listening and learning ceases. Engagement requires participation from both parties ¨C don¡¯t hold back from sharing, but at the same time, don¡¯t be that person who dominates and effectively shuts down that engagement.

9) Focusing on superficial topics

What separates a great conversation from 'small talk' is the meaningful nature of the dialog. Talking about the weather doesn¡¯t elicit much other than maybe politeness. A great conversationalist elicits meaningful thoughts from others, and those come from purposeful questions. People love to think; asking them something that requires thoughtfulness deepens the conversation's value and strengthens the relationship between the parties.

More blogs from ɫèAV

  • A teacher sat at a table with young students working together

    What is Content and Language Integrated Learning?

    By Joanna Wiseman
    Reading time: 4 minutes

    Content and Language Integrated Learning (CLIL) is an approach where students learn a subject and a second language at the same time. A science course, for example, can be taught to students in English and they will not only learn about science, but they will also gain relevant vocabulary and language skills.

    It¡¯s important to note that CLIL is not a means of simplifying content or reteaching something students already know in a new language. CLIL courses should truly integrate the language and content in order to be successful ¨C and success is determined when both the subject matter and language is learned.

    Who is CLIL for?

    CLIL can work for students of any age, all the way from primary level to university and beyond. So long as the course content and language aims are designed with the students¡¯ needs in mind, there is no limit as to who can benefit from this teaching approach. However, it is most commonly found in primary and secondary school contexts.

    What are the main benefits of CLIL?

    Many teachers see CLIL as a more natural way to learn a language; when a subject is taught in that language there is a concrete reason to learn both at the same time. And as students have a real context to learn the language in, they are often more motivated to do so, as they can only get the most of the content if they understand the language around it.

    Moreover, being content focused, CLIL classes add an extra dimension to the class and engage students, which is especially advantageous in situations where students are unenthusiastic about learning a language.

    CLIL also promotes a deeper level of assimilation, as students are repeatedly exposed to similar language and language functions, and they need to produce and recall information in their second language.

    Furthermore, it has the advantage that multiple subjects can be taught in English, so that students¡¯ exposure to the language is increased and their language acquisition is faster.

    CLIL also encourages students to develop 21st century skills, including the ability to think critically, be creative, communicate and collaborate.?

    What are the challenges of CLIL?

    As CLIL is subject-focused, language teachers may also have to develop their own knowledge of new subjects in order to teach effectively.

    They must also structure classes carefully so that the students understand the content of the lesson, as well as the language through which the information is being conveyed.

    And when it comes to classroom management, educators need to be very aware of individual student understanding and progress.

    It¡¯s therefore important to consistently concept check and scaffold the materials to be sure both the language and content are being learned.

    How can you apply CLIL to your class?

    It¡¯s important to have a strategy in place when applying CLIL in your courses. One of the key things to remember is that the language and subject content are given equal weight and that it shouldn¡¯t be treated as a language class nor a subject class simply taught in a foreign language.

    According to Coyle¡¯s 4Cs curriculum (1999), a successful CLIL class should include the following four elements:

    • Content ¨C Progression in knowledge, skills and understanding related to specific elements of a defined curriculum
    • Communication ¨C Using language to learn whilst learning to use language
    • Cognition ¨C Developing thinking skills which link concept formation (abstract and concrete), understanding and language
    • Culture ¨C Exposure to alternative perspectives and shared understandings, which deepen awareness of otherness and self

    Using a number of frameworks can help you prepare your lessons and make sure activities are challenging yet achievable for your learners.

    Bloom¡¯s Taxonomy, for example, classifies learning objectives in education and puts skills in a hierarchy, from Lower Order Thinking Skills (LOTS) to Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS).

    In the diagram below, you can see the levels increasing in complexity from the base up to the triangle¡¯s peak.

  • A teacher stood helping a student in a large classroomw with other students sat working

    How do different motivations change how students learn English?

    By Steffanie Zazulak
    Reading time: 4 minutes

    Students all over the globe learn English for many reasons. Some of these motivations may come from the students themselves ¨C perhaps they are learning because they are travelling to an English-speaking area, or they want to be able to converse with English-speaking friends and colleagues. Other reasons for learning could include meeting school requirements, studying abroad, or progressing their careers.

    As well as different reasons to learn English, there are also different goals. Many students are still focused on becoming fluent in English, and we are seeing an increase in people who want to learn the language for specific reasons. For example, immersing themselves in a particular culture or simply being able to order from a menu while travelling abroad.

    Teachers are focusing on these personal needs to help students achieve their actual goals. It¡¯s likely you¡¯ve already spoken to your students about why they want to learn English. Understanding this is important as different motivations can influence a student¡¯s attitude towards learning the language ¨C and it may be necessary for you to adapt your teaching strategies for different groups of learners.

    Teaching English to different groups of learners

    Let¡¯s meet some different groups of students, learn a little more about their motivations and explore whether different motivations alter how students learn English. You may recognise some of these learners in your classes.

    1. Adult learners

    These students are learning English for pleasure or personal reasons. It might be because of travel, social or family reasons or perhaps because a better grasp of English might assist them with their careers. There are also adult learners who could be learning English as an immigration requirement.

    For example, 23-year-old Alice decided to learn English so she could meet people and have more meaningful interactions with her English-speaking neighbours. She says: ¡°I was very shy and not very confident in speaking to people, but learning English helped me connect with others and meet new people. I have changed a lot.¡±

    A motivation like Alice¡¯s requires strong teacher support and peer motivation woven into structured learning. Alice can set her goals and with the GSE Learning Objectives map out what she needs to do to achieve them. Teacher encouragement and personal support ¨C and easy access to digital coursework, a social community of others all learning English, and small classes that emphasise conversation ¨C keep people like Alice engaged and motivated to achieve her language goals. ¡°I cannot do it without them¡±, she says.

    2. Professional learners

    These learners are typically in a more formal type of English programme and are learning the language to achieve specific career milestones, such as a promotion. Their employer might even be paying for their learning or they might be reimbursed for the cost of their lessons.

    Vincenzo is 33 and works as a Product Manager in Milan for an international organization with offices around the world. He says: ¡°I asked to take English classes as part of my professional development. My company chose an English provider and gave me a choice of group or one-to-one classes. I chose one-to-one classes as I¡¯m easily distracted.¡±

    Professional learners like Vincenzo succeed using a blended learning model of learning in class and at home that they can tailor around their lives. They have a strong motivation to succeed ¨C that¡¯s why learning at home works for them ¨C but step-by-step progress provided by the GSE Learning Objectives is also important to keep this motivation alive. ¡°I met with my teacher once a week where we would work on mistakes I would make while speaking English. He would also give me extra practice materials, like interesting games and videos to listen to in my own time, to help me really get a better understanding of the language,¡± Vincenzo says.

    3. Academic learners

    Learning English is a requirement for many school programmes and students will continue this at college or university. Many of these students will be learning English with a formal course that offers practice tests for high-stakes exams.

    Seventeen-year-old Subra is from Malaysia and learns English at school. Some of her family live in Australia and she is considering studying abroad to attend a University that specializes in health care. When she was young, she learned in a traditional classroom backed with tests that helped her see how she was progressing. Now she uses technology, such as her Android Huawei phone to practise her English but still needs the validation of regular testing to know she is on track.

    Subra?says: ¡°I am used to studying for tests as I prepared hard for exams to get into middle school and senior school, which was totally determined by test results.¡±

    Academic learners like Subra need to see demonstrable results to help them stay motivated and guide them to the level of English they need to achieve to get the required score on high-stakes tests. With the clear GSE Learning Objectives and a placement test, academic learners can map out where they are right now and where they need to be in order to reach their academic goals. These learners need encouragement and validation of their progress from their teachers to help keep them on track.

    Understanding student motivations will help you teach to their specific needs, thus helping them to stay focused and motivated in achieving their goals.